Testing

Lately, i've found myself losing control. It normally wouldn't be a problem, but that's the problem. Here are the reasons:

First, my boss didn't put me on the schedule to train for serving tables one week - which is fine. This week he did the same thing. And I didn't give him any grief for it! So I told my older brother and he about chewed me out for being so stupid. A proper lecture.

Secondly, I have been occasionally giving a co-worker a ride to and from work. But one night, he asked me to give him a ride - which I don't mind. Then (next moment later) he asks me to spot him $20! "Sorry. I don't have $20." I tell him. So he asks his cousin to come down to give him $20. So we sit there for a good 20 minutes for his cousin to bail this guy's dumb butt for the week. I would tell him to get a job, but we work at the same place.

Last, I ran food to a co-worker(different person)'s table and it was the wrong dish. In front of the customer, she says to me,"C'mon, Justin!" So while she's complaining to the person who really messed up, I told her not to talk the way she did in front of the customer. She starts raising her voice about she was right and I was wrong(very common with her), so I walk away punching the kitchen door. While I'm back there, another co-worker asked me what was wrong. While i'm trying to cope, she walks back to where I am and tells me that if I want to talk about her to do it to her face. I yell,"I'M RUNNING YOUR FOOD!" while slamming my fist into the metal table repeatedly. My manager came back to talk sense into me, and we leave it. Of course, we got it right between us before the night was over. But...

Lesson? I need to stand for my rights. It's not being selfish. It's selfish to be so timid for my reputation's sake.

Update

I guess it's been a while. It's been a crazy couple years for me. I've discovered more things about myself, fixed some issues, affirmed more things about myself (not that I desperately needed it), and am still learning to move on. Life IS a journey. It's like the voice lessons I'm taking. You have to be free. And willing to accept the outcome - even when you mess up. I've gotten kicked out of a school, gotten fired from a job, found friends for life, found friends for now, and learned that family is always there for you in the worst of times. And you don't allow the bad things bog you down. And you keep going. And what you remember: Keep the best; leave the rest. A new year. A new song. A new start. Be free.